This week has been as much fun as summer camp! It was intense to work with Shari Manning and Karyn Hall for a week. I am kind of bookish, so it was a perfect fit for a graduate student who is eager to learn and apply...and run with the big dogs in the treatment world.
When I arrived at Menninger for the training, I had barely slept and didn't need to with such anticipation and excitement. I was one of the first to arrive, so I had a moment to look around the room and soak in the reality of the moment- here I am as a student- surrounded by some of the top practitioners and clinicians in mental health. I had my binder and was ready to go.
Before the introductions, Karyn smiled at the group and led the first mindfulness. Observe is the first core mindfulness skill, so it was the perfect place to start. When you practice mindfulness, you do so with your eyes open, so that you are fully present and aware of your environment. The target was to track the thoughts, as one would track the clouds moving across the sky. In Observe, there are no labels, judgments, or words assigned to what you see or think. The goal is to just notice the thought and let it go.
I watched my thoughts. With each breath, I let go of the expectations that had filled my mind with wonder in the car and still lingered as I sat. I was sitting in my chair and began to realize that this is real- the day has finally come and I am here to embrace it and to live in it.
I let go of the comparison of being less experienced, realizing we all have different areas of specialty and understanding. "Comparison is the thief of joy" - Theodore Roosevelt. And he is right. From the moment I realized and accepted that I was "enough," the tension in my shoulders left and I could be fully present.
Remember, all we have is this moment. Live in it.
In the next three months, I will be learning and practicing the skills presented in Dr. Marsha Linehan's "Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder" (1993). I am taking an intensive approach, designating a day for each skill group: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Follow along with me in the Little Red Book as I get ready for my counseling program.
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