Words to Avoid in Dialectical Behavior Therapy

Dialectical behavior therapy has roots in cognitive behavior therapy and has added validation and acceptance strategies into the theoretical framework. 
Shari Manning described DBT as compassionate behaviorism (Manning & TIC, 2013)

This series of words to avoid in DBT comes from the Core Clinical Training in DBT by the Treatment Implementation Collaborative (TIC) at the training in Houston by Shari Manning (2013). These words have also been mentioned in my counseling courses as a graduate student by students and instructors.

Terms used in DBT are behaviorally-specific and clearly defined.  "What you describe is what it is" (Manning & TIC, 2013).  When the words we say lack precision, we don't know exactly what the behavior occurred.  To know what happened, we need specific descriptions of the behavior to give us more information and ways to look for patterns.
 
These are terms that are not used in DBT, as they could be viewed as judgmental, pejorative, not descriptive, and/or not behavior-specific.  

Attention-seeking behavior.  This is not a specific behavior and it implies knowing the intention behind the behavior. 

Resistant.  This is not a specific behavior either.  One of the DBT assumptions about clients is that they are doing the best they can in the moment. 

Split.  This is a term from object relations theory by Robert Fairbairn that is also used in psychoanalysis.  Shari Manning described DBT as compassionate behaviorism (Manning & TIC, 2013).  Most often, behaviorists do not use this term, so it is not part of the DBT vocabulary.

Entitled.  This is a judgment and its use does not clearly define or describe a behavior.

Game-playing.  This implies intention that may or may not be there.  Again, game-playing is a subjective term without additional data about the observed behavior(s).

Gesturing.  Gesturing often refers to suicidal behaviors and implies intention.  We cannot determine intention based only on this word in a client's chart.

Acting out.  This is a common phrase in therapy and my study of educational psychology.  I could posit a few guesses about what the behavior could have been.  It is more helpful to have specific details about specific behaviors.  It seems to be a catch-all for behavior that may not meet the norms or rules in a specific setting.

Help-rejecting.  This one is particularly pejorative and implies the client's intentions, which are speculative at best.  We need more data before writing this in a chart or in case notes.

Self-sabotaging.  This implies intention.  Marsha Linehan discussed the issues of behavior change in the Big Red Book of DBT on page 106.

"In my experience, borderline patients are usually working desperately hard at changing themselves.  Often, however, there is little visible success, nor are the patient's efforts at behavioral control particularly obvious much of the time.  Because their behavior is frequently exasperating, inexplicable, and unmanageable, it is tempting to decide that they are not trying. . . The tendency of many therapists to tell these patients to try harder, or imply that they indeed are not trying hard enough, can be one of the patient's most invalidating experiences in psychotherapy" (p. 106).