Fixed Mind and Choosing the Crown You Wear: 10 Days Remain!

The fixed mind is like a crown of thorns. Everybody who truly knows you can see its sharp spikes rammed into the sides of your skull and the trickles of blood flowing down into pools on your shoulders. This crown was woven piece by piece, just as each aspect of the fixed mind was and is accrued over time. The rigid rules are just as cutting and painful as the thorns.

But wait, there’s good news. Just as the crown of thorns came together one piece at a time, it can also be deconstructed one piece at a time.

Yes, there will be pain as the fixed mind is pulled apart. With the pain comes joy that rivals any I have ever known. I look forward to the day when the fixed mind reveals itself not as a crown of thorns, but as a fluid mind and a crown of laurels- with its signal of victory.

Recovery and Radical Acceptance- Day 11 of the Countdown to the DBT Training at Menninger Clinic

"My grace is sufficient.  My power is made perfect in your weakness."   The story of acceptance begins here.  We are fundamentally imperfect...and that's okay.  Perfection is an impossible goal, one that leads to frustration, recognition of inadequacy, and the pain that accompanies there realizations.  It is resolved in radical acceptance.  

Radical acceptance is essential.  Marsha Linehan describes radical acceptance as a continual process, one that rises with us in the morning in the choices and decisions we make.  Radical acceptance is not easy; to me, radical acceptance is the hardest skill to use in a tough, emotionally-charged situation.  People make decisions we don't like.  People treat us unfairly.  Even our decisions can backfire and block our paths toward a life worth living.  Our own actions may reflect our Rational Mind and Emotion Mind states.  Wise Mind helps us to find acceptance of self and others.

Recovery comes when application and action meet Wise Mind, radical acceptance, and chain-breaking freedom.  Acceptance is critical in recovery, whether the condition is open heart surgery or bipolar disorder.  Life can be classified as before, overwhelming struggles, moments of clarity, hope for change, and walking forward.  Like the scar, there are physical reminders of what happened.  

Acceptance fits in the process of knowing that there will be lifestyle changes and this process cannot be rushed.  You sit with acceptance.  You release the grip of what is holding you back from living a life worth living.  But life truly begins when you let go, opening your hands to receive grace and mercy.  Acceptance and owning this acceptance aren't especially different, except in degree and effect size.  

Owning acceptance is a path to freedom, moving the focus away from the pain of the past and into the uncertainty of the present and near future.